Series B closed. We are not saying how much.

Say nothing,
at scale.

The AI-native platform layer for modern teams. llm-slop sits underneath your existing stack, above your existing stack, and in several places alongside it, delivering measurable outcomes across every function that has a budget.

No credit card required. No idea required.

live output · thought-leadership endpoint
Your Name Here
Founder & CEO · 3rd+
0 words0 ideas

Trusted by teams who stopped reading

Independently benchmarked*

We produce more words
than anyone measured.

Words emitted per original idea. Higher is better, according to the methodology we also wrote.

A person, thinking
14
Junior copywriter
340
Generic frontier model
1,900
Competing slop vendor
3,100
llm-slop 4.1
41,000

*by us. Chart truncated because the bar left the building.

Platform

Every tell, on by default.

Years of research into what makes writing read as machine-written, packaged as toggles you will never turn off.

Dashformer™

Every sentence gets an em dash. Some get three. Your prose acquires the unmistakable cadence of something nobody wrote.

Delve Mode

Replaces "look at" with "delve into" across your entire corpus. Also handles "leverage", "robust", and "in today's landscape". Team plan and above.

Not X, But Y

The industry-standard sentence structure. This isn't a feature, it's a philosophy. That sentence cost us $14M to develop.

Emoji bullet compliance

🚀 Every list item receives an emoji. ✅ Every one. 💡 There is no allowlist. 🔑 There is no off switch.

Confidence guarantee

Zero hedging. Every fabricated statistic is delivered in the register of a closing keynote. Sources available on request, then unavailable.

Human in the loop

There is no human. The loop is just the model, reading its own output. But "human in the loop" tested extremely well with buyers.

How it works

Three steps. One of them is real.

01

Connect your warehouse

Point llm-slop at your data. We ingest everything, normalise nothing, and surface it as a unified layer your team will refer to as "the dashboard". The onboarding checklist turns green, which is the actual product.

02

Set your volume

Choose words per day. There is no ceiling. There is technically a floor, but every customer who set one churned within a quarter.

03

Deploy to the edge

Our runtime ships to all thirty-one regions simultaneously. Latency is unchanged. Compliance is delighted. Nobody has asked what is being deployed, and we have not volunteered it.

Developers

One endpoint. No parameters that matter.

bash
$ curl -X POST https://api.llm-slop.com/v1/generate \
    -H "Authorization: Bearer $SLOP_KEY" \
    -d '{"topic": "anything", "words": 40000, "insight": false}'

{
  "content": "In today's rapidly evolving landscape, one thing...",
  "tokens_billed": 51204,
  "em_dashes": 1841,
  "original_thoughts": 0,
  "warning": "insight=true is not supported and will not be"
}

Customers

They had nothing to say.
Now they say it constantly.

"As Head of Content, I can confidently say llm-slop has completely transformed our approach to — I'm sorry, I don't have enough context to complete this testimonial."

Priya N. · Head of Content, Synergon

"We went from four posts a month to nine hundred. Organic traffic is down 61%. But nine hundred."

Marcus D. · VP Growth, Vertexly

"It's not a writing tool, it's a paradigm shift. (This testimonial was generated by llm-slop. So was Dana.)"

Dana K. · CMO, Corpus Maximus

Pricing

Simple, transparent pricing.

Straightforward tiers with no hidden costs, which is why every one of them requires a forty minute call.

Free

$0
  • 10,000 words / month
  • Your inputs train the model
  • Your outputs train the model
  • This page trains the model
Contact sales

Pro

Contact sales
  • Billed per seat
  • Delve Mode
  • Priority hallucinations
  • Slack channel, unanswered
Contact sales

Team

Contact sales
  • Billed per outcome
  • SSO, eventually
  • Brand voice ingestion
  • Brand voice ignoring
Contact sales

Enterprise

Contact sales
  • Billed per region, per initiative
  • On-prem, air-gapped, still slop
  • Dedicated CSM named Kyle
  • Kyle is also generated
Contact sales
1,284,993,201

words generated today, none of them read

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